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How Society Influences Female Identity
by Ali Frederick
Have you ever stopped to
differentiate between the beliefs you want to have about your life's
direction versus
the beliefs you inherit from old habits and from society? Are the
expectations of your family,
religion, and culture congruent with who you strive to be?
What Exactly Do You
Believe?
The beliefs we have
about ourselves, about what we should have accomplished,
about how we should behave, about what a mother, family, or wife is
determine whether we are
satisfied with ourselves and ultimately whether we love and accept
ourselves.
Many women feel frustration and even self-hatred or at least
disappointment surrounding their roles as wives,
lovers, career women, and mothers. They hold themselves to standards
that are based on rules.
These rules are based on beliefs about what a woman is.
Women do have a quest at
this time in our culture. It is the quest to fully embrace their
feminine nature,
learning how to value themselves as women and heal the deep wound of
the feminine.
What is the deep wound
of the feminine? For at least over 4500 years, women, most
particularly,
woman's sexuality, has been the domain of the men in their lives;
whether it be fathers, brothers, husbands,
lovers, or even judges. I am not launching a feminist tirade, but it
is critical to acknowledge where we've come
from and what the past was like for women who came before us.
Each individual is
birthed from the societal stew yet our lives are our own expression
and responsibility.
Part of being an adult is to learn how to stop blaming others and
start manifesting ourselves,
but this may be hard to do unless we carefully examine what we
believe, where we came from,
and how these two things relate to each other.
I use the illustration
of the stew because a stew has distinct ingredients yet they all
influence each other
either through dominating flavoring or in more subtle ways. All the
ingredients take up the properties
of everything that is in the stew. The properties from our societal
stew linger in our minds acting like silent partners -
governing our lives (our subconscious mind).
Can you name something
you did in the last week but now you have no idea why you did it?
Or did you do something you swore you wouldn't do, but did?
When we take action and
make decisions that later baffle us, it is often our silent partner
who made
the decision for us. Our silent partner believed it was acting in our
best interests. It acted for our own survival,
to avoid a more painful outcome, or to support subtle - yet critical
beliefs we hold.
Our silent partner is running around, behind our backs, shaping our
lives into something that we later say,
"This isn't how I thought my life would be."
Name three subtle
beliefs you have.
Are some similar to these?
· I can't take that
promotion and still be a good mom.
· I don't have the money.
· My kids come first.
· If I am not sexually attractive to my husband whenever he wants, he
will leave me, or worse - have an affair.
· It's irresponsible for me to go back to school.
These beliefs - all your
beliefs - even the positive ones - originate from the stew.
We are like a piece of potato or tofu. We enter this world as an
individual. Then we brew in the stew.
We are still a piece of potato or tofu, which differs remarkably from
carrots or beef,
et we've captured the flavorings of all those around us. The secret to
a delicious stew, the longer it simmers,
the more flavoring ingredients like potatoes and tofu absorb. What
beliefs have you absorbed?
Becoming aware of
what is influencing us - of what else is in the stew, will help us:
· empower ourselves
· make decisions that generate the outcomes we truly desire
· heal old wounds
· help us be there for the ones we love
· turn dreams into reality
In short, create the
life you secretly obsess about.
So what is in your stew?
What has your ethnicity, your family, your schools,
and your religion taught you about women? What are they teaching your
daughter about women?
Fashion Mistakes Women Make
By Melanie Jensen
It is certainly impossible to be perfect all the time and every woman one day looks at the old
photos and wonders what made her dress that way.
Here is a list of tips how to avoid fashion mistakes that are common for women, even for those
who are “professional” fashionistas.
* Never rely completely on TV shows and fashion magazines. You are risking becoming the
fashion victim, fashion shows and reviews should help to generate ideas and inspire you,
but let’s face it –
you are not a model and buying the super expensive dress that looked gorgeous
on Kate Moss
won’t make you look the same.
* Do not buy clothes that don’t fit. Never buy something that is too small for you thinking that
you
will definitely lose weight by the time you’ll be wearing it. The same thing is about the length
of
your jacket sleeves.
* Do not mish-mash your wardrobe. Many people think that buying odds and ends on sale is
very
wise – it really helps you save money, but it may as well kill your wardrobe.
Having a lot of different cheap unmatchable stuff in your closet won’t make you a fashionista.
* Many women are devoted to classical style but it is necessary sometimes to give up your
favorite pair of jeans and change it for the stylish silky skirt, for example. Do not get too
comfortable with definite clothes, and try to take it not that seriously – it’s not the family
member
or your favorite pet, it’s just a piece of fabric!
* Choose the right underwear. Celebrities are stuck into push-up bras, body trimmers and tops
to
fit into the designer outfit because the right lingerie can actually do miracles for your figure.
So, just keep in mind these simple tips standing infront of your wardrobe in the morning and
your everyday $ 1
million look is guaranteed! ;)
Women's Blog - All Women's Talk
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